honestly im letting myself hope again, im triyng to be understanding, patient and a friend and since im feeling hopefull and you never come on here im gonna try a poem it was never my best thing but i was always worried that others would laugh :my atempt at poetry:  ~I hope you realize that were ment to be, it still seems so clear to me, my love is still there, when im with you i feel like im walking on air, I dream of you every night, i really dont want to fight, but were supposed to be together, i truly ment it when i said forever~

there now again glad you never look here cause i suck at poetry but i still think its kinda sweet and hey maybe one day ill get better i did plan on taking writing courses cause while i think i want to be a teacher cause ive had some great teachers who helped me through high school and i wanna make an impact on some lives i also still want to one day be an author to, you know ive always loved to read and while i dont remember if i told you but i also want to write a book become an author, someone whos books help people, inspire them, i rememeber when i actually met the author of one of my favorite book series and i was thinking holy crap this guy knows how to write and ive read ALOT of books and i mean more then most people do in a year ill read in one week and i think that maybe someday i can do it…and yeah i hope your by my side i always said you were my inspiration and i ment it…ugh i miss you alot

Im so tired…i feel like just giving up on life…i miss you so much and its killing me that your not with me….im half wishing that youll see these and change your mind…and the other half is scared that youll see these and think im an even bigger loser than you already think..i promised you i wasnt lying im trying hard for everything…im not gonna be a loser :/ imma prove you wrong its just moments like this when i feel like giving up on life love and everything but its that same love for you thats keeping me going thats gonna help me get this done…im just tired okay…really tired it takes so much energy to get up and face people but being alone is so bad….i used to think crying was a sign of weakness but im not weak, i love you and miss you…i dont want you to leave me here by myself i honestly dont think ill survive…i dont want to be selfish but how can i let you go when your so crucial to my survival? i used to say i needed my ddoa (daily dose of arielle) and i still do…thinking about you and him hurts though…and than i get so angry i wanna call you names and beat the ever living shit out of him but violence wont solve anything its never worth it and i cant stand to see you in pain….i dont want to see you get hurt…just realize what your missing faster ok? wish you could see these…i love you :/ 

I cant help myself im still thinking of you every second of every day, i love you and miss you so much im trying not to show it but im hurting real bad here…id give anything…do anything to have you back…even though you have seriously hurt me i still think your amazing…i try not to get mad i try not to think about you with him…but yeah i do and i get mad i get disgusted…and yet i still want you back…i love you…you say you love me but if you did how could you be with him? how could you let me suffer? If i had you back id…id let it all go okay? id forgive you and yeah it will take some time for me to fully trust you again but i promise not to bring up your past mistakes…i just want you back your the one person who i thought i could always rely on and would ALWAYS be there for me no matter what…even though you lost your feelings for me im always here for you, always…and yeah ill wait for you…but just know im gonna suffer every day :/ i thought that everything would be perfect when you graduated but its been a complete nightmare…i miss you babygirl

i dont know what to do i wanna talk to you and get you back and i dont know how..but if i dont talk to you..i dont know what will happen….

Im not that religious…yet i find myself literaly praying for it all to work out…

just noticing now how you hacked my tumblr :/

It absolutly kills me that your doing okay. its like i ment nothing to you…

When I’m feeling this low your normally who i talk to…but now i cant so what am i gonna do?

Miss you. 

yes im aware im pathetic but i cant help it…when you have been with somebody for 4 years…

fuck fuck fuck! life is so unfair. you know i was beyond happy…now i just want to roll over and die im so miserable….i dont understand how someone could just walk out on you like that…i love her to death, id take a bullet for this girl…i miss you :( 

I dont know how you can stand it, how anyone can i feel like im dying and it just wont happen fast enough im fucking crying like a little bitch…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………fuckmyfuckinglifefuckfuckfuck. When i was young i never thought id be lucky enough to find a soulmate but i did and i lost her…

you honestly seem perfectly fine so i guess i am a bitch…i cant help it i fell hard…im so miserable without you :’( to anyone who gives enough shits to read this if you fall in love and i mean truly fall in love hold on tight…the good and the bad im telling you right now dont ever let go…

Here is where i can let most of my true feelings out i know you never look here…I miss you so much im absolutley heartbroken, im devestated im tired of putting up a brave face and fake smile for my friends but i cant be alone like i am now when all my walls come crashing down…after such a long period of time i truelly thought you ment it when you said forever….It honestly feels like half of me died you ment so much to me…i want nothing more then to convince you to come back and to stay but..i cant be selfish..this is a big oppurtunity for you and even though if it was reversed id…id always choose you…one of the things that hurts the most is when i think of he future and realize 5 years from now…even a year you wont be here…im gonna end this here cause theres to many thoughts in my head and to many tears in my eyes, i love you more then youll ever know….